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a dreadful thought - By jeremy On Strindberg Project

Strindberg Project

a dreadful thought

By jeremy

i have a dreadful thought
it came to me when i was looking at a work of mine
the thought is:

i have just passed away
the sun has barely risen
on the sidewalk, there are things packed up
it’s the day the city cleaners come with the truck and take all the trash away
on the sidewalk, there are many things
some old furniture, old lamps and pieces of carpets
a cheap sofa, fake leather maybe
in the stacks, my eyes make a zoom
i focus on one corner of one of the stacks
in the corner, i see a bit of one of my works
i recognize the writing, the colors
it was my work

i died in abrupt conditions
and my flat needed to be freed very quickly
which didn’t leave a lot of time for organizing the distribution of my belongings
so in the lot, some things went on the sidewalk
my works
it’s all spread on the sidewalk
and means nothing after i’m gone
maybe someone would walk next to it
and take a short look
my works on the sidewalk
the day the trash needs to be taken away

i have a dreadful thought
it’s early in the morning
maybe someone is walking by
sees a portion of my work, and decides to take it home
like you would take an old lamp from a stack of old stuff on a sidewalk
waiting to be picked by the city truck, to the dump
you take the lamp home
and after 2 days
the reasons, they show up
the reasons why the lamp was thrown away in the first place
you see it doesn’t really work
or maybe it has a terrible smell
or a bad color, all in all you don’t like it
then you understand
why it was thrown away in the first place
and next week you take it out, and dump it out again
maybe for another fool to pick it up
well, maybe he’d trash my work too

i get a clear image of my work on a sidewalk
piled in a mix of old furniture and garbage backs
on the day the city truck comes and takes it all away
i can just get a glimpse
at one of my works

and this thought came to me one day
and then another day, i was sleeping, then i woke up and pronounced the words:
“dancer nova”
aloud, like i was talking to someone
like it was the only way for me to remember it
if you read through this you might read something

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Read 136250 Times - Genre: Short story
Published: November 14, 2010, 8:38 pm